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This week Billy Blanks joins Bruce & Tim to discuss how the bullying in his early life has helped shaped his philosophy on living.
Find Billy online at: https://www.taebonation.com
Contact the show at breakbullyinghere@gmail.com
If you want to learn more or are subjected to either Bullying or Harassment, you can go to:
If you are dealing with dark or suicidal thoughts call The National Suicide Hotline:
Phone: 988
Opening Theme: "The Beginning and the End" by Grahf
Closing Theme: "Cute Melodies 11" by Soundtrack 4 Life
This week on breaking bullying.
Speaker:Even the strongest of us can come
Speaker:from the tragedy of being bullied.
Speaker:And this week, we talk to a very specific gentleman
Speaker:who in his youth suffered greatly but overcame it.
Speaker:We're going to hit that music and we're going to get started
Speaker:along with my co-host, Tim.
Speaker:Joining us this week is a man who has more belts than a leather factory warehouse.
Speaker:It is martial arts expert and founder
Speaker:of the Tebow system himself, Billy Blanks.
Speaker:Billy, thank you for joining us this afternoon.
Speaker:How are you?
Speaker:I'm awesome.
Speaker:I'm glad to be here and blessed to be here.
Speaker:Let me say that.
Speaker:And I'm looking forward to talking to you guys.
Speaker:So, Billy, you've had much success of your life, but
Speaker:a lot of us don't know how hard
Speaker:it might have been for you as a child growing up as a youth.
Speaker:Tell us what it was like growing up where where you came from.
Speaker:Well, I grew up in Erie, Pennsylvania.
Speaker:In Erie, Pennsylvania.
Speaker:You know, we lived I lived in the ghetto, had 15 brothers and sisters
Speaker:of ten brothers and five sisters.
Speaker:And, you know, I used to be a kid who was very shy.
Speaker:And, you know,
Speaker:when you shy, you have a tendency to walk around like you have no authority,
Speaker:you know, and you kind of timid, nervous and scared all the time.
Speaker:And I think because of that, that made people want to pick on me more, you know.
Speaker:So every day after school, as soon as the bell would ring,
Speaker:I'd be the best one
Speaker:they can get out of school and try to get home as fast as I could,
Speaker:because if I didn't, I knew I wouldn't get picked on and bullied.
Speaker:Right. So I would just run home and then it would get to a point.
Speaker:It got to a point where in my neighborhood
Speaker:it was this guy who was like 18 years old.
Speaker:You know, he said he used to see me come running from school
Speaker:and he's come out of the front door.
Speaker:He's pull out a switchblade.
Speaker:I'm going to kill you When I see, you know.
Speaker:And it made me even more scared and nervous about walking around,
Speaker:you know, in our neighborhood because of that.
Speaker:And I should tell my mom and tell my dad and stuff.
Speaker:And, you know, my dad can never kiss the guy, but my dad was always at work.
Speaker:Right.
Speaker:But again, it was just me trying to find a place.
Speaker:How how, how I can escape and get home
Speaker:without being able to run into people who wanted to fight Bully.
Speaker:Was it always the same group of people?
Speaker:No. It was always different groups of people.
Speaker:Because you know, I was this kid
Speaker:that was I had a learning disorder, my learning disorder with Alexia.
Speaker:I think back in those days, nobody knew what dyslexia was.
Speaker:And even now, when you talk to some people about dyslexia, people, people, all,
Speaker:they had a big old thing.
Speaker:They went around and they asked people, you know what dyslexia is?
Speaker:Some people did. Some people, oh, I think it's in your ankle.
Speaker:I think people are.
Speaker:And some people did still don't even know what it is.
Speaker:But I had dyslexia because it had that.
Speaker:It made me really shy.
Speaker:I was the only brother out of all my brothers that wanted to play a sport
Speaker:but couldn't play the sport because I was too scared
Speaker:because if I had to read something, it has something to do with plays and things.
Speaker:Then it would make me look like make me feel like I was stupid
Speaker:Then it would make me look like make me feel like I was stupid
Speaker:Then it would make me look like make me feel like I was stupid
Speaker:and it just took my confidence away.
Speaker:At what age did your bullying start and how long did it last?
Speaker:My bullying started at first grade.
Speaker:So about seven.
Speaker:Yeah, seven years old.
Speaker:And then from seven years old all the way to
Speaker:when I got into my first martial arts taekwondo class.
Speaker:And I was 13 years old
Speaker:when I got to class, that's when it started to slow down a little bit.
Speaker:I still got it and I got it from older kids because I was a pretty big kid.
Speaker:At 13 years old, I was close to six feet, you know,
Speaker:and I was just a kid who was shy.
Speaker:I would say when people say something to me, I would go, Yes, just sir.
Speaker:And, you know, it's kind of my head and stuff like that.
Speaker:And so I think I look like a victim.
Speaker:You know, I was a kid that people go, oh, that's the easy one.
Speaker:Go ahead. This bully hit.
Speaker:Because of being shy, being quiet, having dyslexia,
Speaker:which also would probably affect your schoolwork.
Speaker:Definitely affect my schoolwork.
Speaker:It made me, you know, you know, I had to go to special education,
Speaker:you know, and then being be able to go to a special education class.
Speaker:That marks.
Speaker:You, right.
Speaker:In those days, you had to get on a yellow bus, right?
Speaker:When you got on a yellow bus, kids would see you.
Speaker:And then that was it.
Speaker:I was going but with bus with kids who had were handicapped.
Speaker:Some kids are mentally handicapped as well as physically handicapped.
Speaker:So then everybody mixed me and with that group.
Speaker:And so I was like nervous about getting on the bus, but I didn't get on.
Speaker:So I didn't wouldn't get on the bus.
Speaker:I would run to school, you know, I would walk to school
Speaker:even though our school was like two miles away from my house, I would walk.
Speaker:So, Billy, you refused to ride that yellow bus, Correct.
Speaker:Or did you have to go on it a few times?
Speaker:No, I refuse to ride it. I didn't go on it.
Speaker:Okay.
Speaker:Then at that time I could because I was old enough to be able
Speaker:to know directions and so I didn't have to write it.
Speaker:Would you say that bullying was rampant within your neighborhood?
Speaker:Yeah, it was rampant, you know, because I lived in street ghetto, right?
Speaker:Because living in the ghetto, you got all kind of kids
Speaker:who wants to be the boss, right? And who wants to?
Speaker:And I think that's why a lot of gangs started because of that.
Speaker:Kids did not want to walk home by themselves,
Speaker:so they would go join a game, you know, and then you got your protection.
Speaker:You know, I have 15 brothers, sisters,
Speaker:but each one of us had our own direction that we were going in.
Speaker:And most of my brothers played after school sports.
Speaker:And if they saw anything happen, they were all always come over
Speaker:and try to, you know, break something or get in, get involved with it.
Speaker:Right.
Speaker:But I was I was getting
Speaker:people caught by himself either because I was shy kid.
Speaker:So I really didn't hang out with too many people.
Speaker:I was always by myself.
Speaker:And I think when you're by yourself, that's that's another
Speaker:victim being right where people go, well, you know, nobody likes him.
Speaker:He's a shy kid.
Speaker:Look at him.
Speaker:He walks around with his head down all the time.
Speaker:So that was I was a person that people say, you know, let's go out to him.
Speaker:Did you ever get into any fights?
Speaker:Yeah, I got I definitely got into bison and, you know,
Speaker:because I was pretty big and strong, you know, I didn't like to fight.
Speaker:But if I did fights, you know, people got hurt, right? But
Speaker:me, I would I would
Speaker:beat up beat up a kid and go home and cry because I had to be somebody up.
Speaker:I had gone
Speaker:talk to my mom and dad, Her mom, you know, I had a fight and I had hurt somebody.
Speaker:But then my mom and dad would talk to me and tell me, you know, Billy,
Speaker:you know, protect yourself. What do you think will happen to you?
Speaker:And so, you know, I just had to keep fighting,
Speaker:keep fighting and hope that,
Speaker:you know, I can get home safe.
Speaker:My my thing was I hated to fight.
Speaker:Didn't like to fight.
Speaker:I even had to fight with my best friend one day because he was bullying,
Speaker:you know, bullying me.
Speaker:And I just had to say, okay, I'm tired of it.
Speaker:We had to fight. So we had a fight in the night of crying.
Speaker:Crying because I had to beat up had to beat up my friend, you know.
Speaker:And even though you fought back, that didn't stop them from bullying.
Speaker:You know? No.
Speaker:Because I think living in the streets is is a way that
Speaker:kids made a pathway.
Speaker:And even though I was beat up kids and I would get beat up to
Speaker:is still it was a challenge.
Speaker:You know nobody had guns back in those days.
Speaker:Nobody everybody would deal with their fists,
Speaker:you know, and they deal with what came out of their mouth.
Speaker:And then it got to a point where you and I got a little bit older.
Speaker:My brother became,
Speaker:you know, top athlete.
Speaker:And then he also became, you know, well-known street fighter.
Speaker:And because he became a well-known street fighter, when kids got in face, you know,
Speaker:you know, how was the guy name he used due to fighting on the ring?
Speaker:Kimbo Slice. Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:My brother Joe was a street fighter in back in the neighborhood.
Speaker:My father caught him running home.
Speaker:We both were coming home from school, and my father saw both of us running.
Speaker:But I was running because I wanted to get home fast.
Speaker:My brother was running because he was running from a kid,
Speaker:and my father saw him naked.
Speaker:He was running from was living next door and he was bullying my brother.
Speaker:My brother.
Speaker:We we always started not to mess with people, you know, just be good kids.
Speaker:You know,
Speaker:my father always taught us we had to we had to, you know, fight for our self.
Speaker:But no bullying, no, none of that stuff.
Speaker:So my brother would just because you don't want to hurt people, he ran home, too.
Speaker:He was home.
Speaker:He my older brother, he was like six two and pretty big for his size.
Speaker:Right.
Speaker:But he was still, you know, kind of a coward careening about fighting back.
Speaker:And and my father caught him and my father calling me.
Speaker:So you got to go back outside.
Speaker:You don't go because I fight that kid.
Speaker:You going to be running home all the time.
Speaker:And then that's what I learned.
Speaker:You know, I can't be running anymore.
Speaker:My father did that to my brother.
Speaker:I'm going have to stand up for myself.
Speaker:That's when things started to stop.
Speaker:And was that how you're bullying? And did.
Speaker:I? Bully ended because of my brother's reputation.
Speaker:But then when I got involved with karate, everything stopped.
Speaker:What was your reason for joining karate?
Speaker:My reason for John karate to be is because I wanted to be disciplined, focused.
Speaker:I, you know, get into boxed in first.
Speaker:And I got into boxing.
Speaker:All the boxes of training was telling me, Billy,
Speaker:as soon as you see Red, you got to act like a shark.
Speaker:You got to go after it.
Speaker:But then I saw Tito, Bruce Lee on TV, the Green Hornet, And then when I saw
Speaker:Bruce in the Green Hornet, I saw how much focus and discipline he had.
Speaker:And I knew in my neighborhood it wasn't about me learn how to fight
Speaker:because I could you know, you can always get a street fight, right?
Speaker:So I learned how to physically take care of myself.
Speaker:My goal was to learn discipline and focus.
Speaker:And I saw that discipline and focus Bruce Lee had with his body.
Speaker:So I wanted to be able to be a kid who had that focus and discipline.
Speaker:Plus,
Speaker:I wanted to be able to be different than other kids
Speaker:because I didn't have any grew up good in school.
Speaker:My schooling was not that great.
Speaker:So I start to look at the control that Bruce
Speaker:Lee had of his mind and body together as one man.
Speaker:I want to be to do that because I wanted to help people one day.
Speaker:And so when they built the youth center,
Speaker:got a chance to go to my Luther King Center and go to that credit class.
Speaker:And when I got involved with that karate class, man, I got a chance to see
Speaker:out of my own eyes that I could be successful.
Speaker:Were you hooked from day one?
Speaker:I was hooked from day one.
Speaker:I was hooked from day one.
Speaker:But it was hard for me, too, because I was I have dyslexia
Speaker:and my instructor had to kind of do a lot of stuff with me.
Speaker:But he said, Billy,
Speaker:if you want to take karate, I can't spend that much time with you
Speaker:because then I can't spend time with the students.
Speaker:He said this going back and do your best to try to follow along.
Speaker:So I did.
Speaker:I did that for years and we can to our turn.
Speaker:When I turn,
Speaker:I started 11.
Speaker:When I turned 13, that's when my martial arts start to click.
Speaker:You know, I'm glad your instructor
Speaker:at that time did that for you, because I feel like nowadays
Speaker:there are some martial arts schools where they were they would get
Speaker:I kept a little confidence they have learning disabilities or issues.
Speaker:They'll just some of this. I say, Sorry, you can't come here.
Speaker:We're not a good school for you. Yeah, he didn't do that.
Speaker:My instructor.
Speaker:I just came home from the Vietnam War, and when we first
Speaker:went down there, I went down to what, five guys threw in a gang, right?
Speaker:And I said, What are you guys?
Speaker:If we want to take karate describe program?
Speaker:And that's when the instructor asked a question.
Speaker:I wanted to raise my hand. I'm is it me? I want to take it.
Speaker:But I couldn't do it because gang members thought it was.
Speaker:That's for girls.
Speaker:Boys don't take that kind of stuff.
Speaker:And so we left.
Speaker:And when we left, I went to my house.
Speaker:They went to a house.
Speaker:And when they got far enough
Speaker:where they could see me, I turned around, went back, and I went over
Speaker:and I stood in front of the door and cried and started.
Speaker:It was a black gentleman and a Korean gentleman.
Speaker:They were standing there nearly and looked over and saw me.
Speaker:They said, Come on in.
Speaker:I just walked in. I said, You won't take karate.
Speaker:See you back. I said, Yeah, I want to take karate.
Speaker:This is okay.
Speaker:And the guy said to me, I bet you $5 you won't stick it out.
Speaker:That's what he said to me.
Speaker:I'll bet you $5 you won't stick it out.
Speaker:And that right there was the hook for me.
Speaker:I said, Now here's another person, sin, and I would never be successful.
Speaker:Watch. I'm going to show you.
Speaker:And up until this day, he's
Speaker:gone a little bit in my shorts and he's like a fifth degree black belt.
Speaker:And I'm an active black a mr.
Speaker:in martial arts of No one was 50 years, Right.
Speaker:And I'm still in it. He's out of it.
Speaker:And so in Elmo and I always talk to my instructor
Speaker:first one who taught me because he was the one who opened up the door for me.
Speaker:And I always give him a lot of credit for helping me out
Speaker:and giving me the strength and power to be able
Speaker:to have that confidence, to be able to do whatever I wanted to do in my life.
Speaker:And it changed my whole life.
Speaker:Now. Billy, why do people associate martial arts
Speaker:as a good activity for their kids to build confidence?
Speaker:I think a lot has to do with the instructors.
Speaker:Most instructors study martial arts and know that martial arts is a focused tool,
Speaker:and it's a tool that helps build up self-confidence
Speaker:and teach you how to become a bully.
Speaker:It teaches you how to become a poster child
Speaker:and have some self-awareness on how to help yourself
Speaker:be a better person in life and then do that.
Speaker:All of a sudden you start to learn about how to protect yourself.
Speaker:You start to learn
Speaker:that it's not about getting out there punching and kicking anybody.
Speaker:It's about having so much self-control.
Speaker:Now. That's why I like martial arts and that's why I like love to see kids.
Speaker:Hard work pays off, discipline pays off, focus pays off, and teaches martial arts.
Speaker:Teachers teach that in the studios.
Speaker:You know, when you walk into the studio,
Speaker:first thing you teach, you want to see how much
Speaker:discipline you have, how much respect you have,
Speaker:how much honor you have for the place you do.
Speaker:You taught how to bow.
Speaker:I mean, why would you bow when you walk into a studio?
Speaker:You know, why would you why do you take off your shoes, Things like that?
Speaker:I think because I was going through all that kind of stuff.
Speaker:It started to teach me a lot of self-respect about myself and honor.
Speaker:And then once I learned, honor was like, wow, this is this is great.
Speaker:You know, I want to keep doing it.
Speaker:And then once I got my black belt, you know, when they tie black belt around
Speaker:your waist, that means you have achieved a lot of stuff.
Speaker:My teacher always told me, Billy, when you get your black,
Speaker:but now you telling me that now you ready
Speaker:to start learning all that other stuff and just preparation up until the time
Speaker:where you've got a black boy now
Speaker:you now you understand, you understand the discipline, the focus factor of it.
Speaker:Now let's see where you can go with it.
Speaker:And that's this took me to a different level.
Speaker:I follow you on Instagram and a while back you posted a video.
Speaker:You're talking about one of your students.
Speaker:He didn't want to do martial arts that day.
Speaker:He didn't feel like he didn't want to do it.
Speaker:But you gave this old confidence speech.
Speaker:And then when he did Martial arts at the end of class,
Speaker:you're saying how his mindset totally changed that day, right?
Speaker:You got to change that negative mindset within, you know, 45 minutes.
Speaker:Right?
Speaker:I just think when you know, when you talking to kids, you know,
Speaker:I have to tell them I have to be honest with the kids because this for me,
Speaker:this is the hardest generation that ever tried to teach martial arts.
Speaker:I've taught him five generations, you know,
Speaker:but this one is the hardest because it's so much social media.
Speaker:Kids don't they don't communicate anymore.
Speaker:If they do communicate this by phone, even if they standing next
Speaker:to each other, they'll text each other, even if they standing next to each other.
Speaker:We're back in the days when I was coming up, we didn't have any of that stuff.
Speaker:So you had to learn how to communicate a lot.
Speaker:You had to learn a lot about the person who standing next to you.
Speaker:And so when you teach and now
Speaker:it's tough.
Speaker:I think it's tough, tougher than ever, because kids don't understand discipline.
Speaker:Correct.
Speaker:Focus and basic communication.
Speaker:Right. As a teacher, how do you overcome that?
Speaker:How do you how do you bridge that gap when
Speaker:you're effectively speaking two different languages?
Speaker:Well, I do think, you know, I said, you know,
Speaker:I always say I know how you like to social media.
Speaker:You know, I said I didn't know
Speaker:anything about social media, but because of you young use,
Speaker:you teach me how to use my phone, how to take my discipline and focus
Speaker:and take it to the phone
Speaker:and take it to the computer to help other people throughout the world.
Speaker:You know, at first we didn't I couldn't do that.
Speaker:Now I can get on the phone or get on the computer
Speaker:and I can teach 50 people in all different countries
Speaker:and I learned that by watching, you know, today's people, you know,
Speaker:And when you start talking to kids about how what they have,
Speaker:how you can enhance it
Speaker:to make you become better, then they go, Oh, I don't even think about that.
Speaker:I don't think about of it like that.
Speaker:I just thought about me being cool, me being doing this and maybe doing that.
Speaker:Now I'm, I think about it is being able to help myself become a better person.
Speaker:And I think when you start showing kids that that can give them power and empower
Speaker:them to become better at what you do, what they do and they they change.
Speaker:And that's what happened to that kid you got, you see out of his own eyes.
Speaker:If he did focus for one minute, he would do this.
Speaker:Look how much better you got.
Speaker:Just in that time I told you to go ahead and do what you needed to do.
Speaker:So you have a lot of good skills.
Speaker:What are you going to do? Let it go to waste?
Speaker:I mean, nobody can make you do it. I can't make you do it now.
Speaker:And I told them I was honest with them and I talked to them.
Speaker:I think when you look into another child's eyes and you talk to
Speaker:the heart of the person, they see that you want them to be better.
Speaker:But when you talk at them,
Speaker:you're not looking into the heart of the person and is
Speaker:you just like everybody else.
Speaker:When you sit down, you talk.
Speaker:I went to I went into a school where it was 64, the worst kids in L.A.
Speaker:and they could not get these kids to be quiet.
Speaker:They couldn't get them.
Speaker:Is it because they, in principal want to introduce me to the kids,
Speaker:but they cannot give these kids quiet down to do anything?
Speaker:So I say, hey, wait, wait a minute for one second.
Speaker:So I said, Let me walk in.
Speaker:And so I walked in and the kids still went quiet, right?
Speaker:It was still wouldn't get down.
Speaker:So you know what I did So on let me walk back out.
Speaker:So I walk back out and I grab two chairs now walk back in
Speaker:and I put one foot on a chair, another foot on a chair,
Speaker:displayed on a chair and a whole room got quiet.
Speaker:I grabbed the attention and Suzanne grabbed the attention.
Speaker:I sit in the chair with the microphone.
Speaker:I was talking to my dad, Hey, I won't talk to you guys.
Speaker:I grew up in a family of 15 brothers. Sisters, What do you want?
Speaker:When is when you want to get something?
Speaker:I know how hard it is to struggle
Speaker:and has to having dyslexia, how hard it is to have not have confidence in you.
Speaker:So I knew all about that.
Speaker:Let's sit down.
Speaker:Let's talk a little bit about how we can make ourselves be better.
Speaker:That whole place, the principal See,
Speaker:that's the first time that place was that quiet and we all talk.
Speaker:And then the kids ask.
Speaker:They asked if I would come back and teach.
Speaker:So I came back and I talked two times a week.
Speaker:It's called the Jefferson Program,
Speaker:and it was a juvenile program for kids, you know.
Speaker:So I just went back and taught two times a week.
Speaker:And then kids start growing and they start understanding
Speaker:that they have the authority and power to make a change in their life.
Speaker:I think when you can show a child
Speaker:that they have the authority to make a change in their life,
Speaker:they'll do it, especially if they can start seeing things happen
Speaker:physically, because most young people need to see physically things change.
Speaker:I would like to take a moment
Speaker:and circle this back into bullying while addressing you as a teacher.
Speaker:Billy Yeah.
Speaker:I am sure that throughout your career as an instructor
Speaker:you have encountered and had to deal with children
Speaker:who are themselves suffering from varying degrees of bullying,
Speaker:either from light to really, really serious and heavy.
Speaker:How do you handle those situations?
Speaker:My daughter.
Speaker:My daughter, like a prime example, she had seen the third
Speaker:degree black belt excuse bullied every day she'd go to school.
Speaker:Why won't?
Speaker:Because she's quiet, she's shy, she's big.
Speaker:She speaks almost six one. You've seen her?
Speaker:I've seen her. She is she just quiet? You know, she don't.
Speaker:You know, she's not allowed in, kids, see, because she's quiet.
Speaker:Very good piano player.
Speaker:On top of that, I just want to put that out there.
Speaker:Yeah, because she deserves recognition for that.
Speaker:She's a good Marcia.
Speaker:What a dream.
Speaker:Like the whole path for her, because she can kick good, real hard.
Speaker:Right? But I always tell her that don't you?
Speaker:When it gets to a point where you have to start
Speaker:physically putting your hands on people, that's not going to be good
Speaker:because you're either going to hurt somebody
Speaker:or you can hurt you
Speaker:or you can get in trouble and you're not going to get to do anything.
Speaker:So I always say the best thing to do is have the car,
Speaker:have the self-confidence to be able to go to the principal,
Speaker:go to the teacher and talk.
Speaker:And so she started going to the teacher and she start talking to the principal.
Speaker:And listen, I'm a I'm a third grade black man, Taekwondo.
Speaker:I know how to protect myself.
Speaker:My dad has taught me since I was two years old.
Speaker:And if you want me to protect myself, I will.
Speaker:But I'm coming to you now to get you to stop these people. And
Speaker:what happens in my
Speaker:wife went to school and the girl who was bullying my.
Speaker:My daughter's at least two feet taller than her,
Speaker:but she just didn't want to put her hands on.
Speaker:She want she's nice.
Speaker:My dad, my daughter wants to love people.
Speaker:You know, she's taught to
Speaker:not to be violent, but to be as low as a person much as you can.
Speaker:In every day.
Speaker:I have to talk to her, build a confidence that because, you know, kids
Speaker:walk up to you, you ugly and you this and you that I don't like you're here
Speaker:here's you know they say all kind of things to her and my thing is they yoga
Speaker:the most important thing about what you have to do, you have to believe that
Speaker:there's something bigger than everything out there.
Speaker:And my thing for her was God as a hey, you got to go to God.
Speaker:And when you go to God,
Speaker:have the peace within yourself that no matter what people say to you,
Speaker:have that peace enough to be able to have the calmness
Speaker:to keep yourself in the right place.
Speaker:And sooner or later, those kids who did that to
Speaker:you will start to turn around so they know what happened.
Speaker:We went and did a martial arts demonstration at a school,
Speaker:and when the kids saw her do her martial arts do like, Oh my God, I know.
Speaker:And then they when they saw me, they didn't know I was her father.
Speaker:And that helped out a lot.
Speaker:It started changing things for her in school.
Speaker:That's how my bullying ended for me.
Speaker:I had my church demonstration in my school, in my high school,
Speaker:and what I saw me spar, break boards do form.
Speaker:That was the end of it stopped.
Speaker:Same thing for me. 16 years ago.
Speaker:I went to the School of Broken where I broke some boards and I jumped up in.
Speaker:Back in those days, I was a pretty good jumper.
Speaker:I could kick a basketball hoop.
Speaker:I put a balloon inside the basketball hoop and I jumped up and busted,
Speaker:you know, a busted balloon and I did a self-defense
Speaker:demonstration with ten men attached to me and coming at me.
Speaker:You know, even though it was it was quite goofy.
Speaker:The kids saw it.
Speaker:And then when I broke at that time, you know, I was young.
Speaker:I was 16, 17 years old.
Speaker:I broke three bricks with a with a hammer, fists.
Speaker:And I kicked to bricks with a jumps like a spinning back kick.
Speaker:And that right there,
Speaker:I became like a hero,
Speaker:you know, Everybody left me alone.
Speaker:I think that best advice you gave your daughter was to remain calm,
Speaker:because a lot of times bullies, they want to get that reaction from you
Speaker:just so they have a reason to just so they have a reason to hit you.
Speaker:Right.
Speaker:And the fact that she didn't do that, they got bored. Yes.
Speaker:But series up until last year, getting bullied every day.
Speaker:Every day or day.
Speaker:My wife wanted to go to school
Speaker:and I said she wanted me to go to school and talk to the doctor to give.
Speaker:Right. I said, Don't go.
Speaker:I can't go to school, that I get in trouble.
Speaker:Right.
Speaker:You know, and I said, You can't do it either.
Speaker:But one day she got a car and my daughter said, Mom, that's a girl right there.
Speaker:And so she walked right up to the girl and start talking to the girl.
Speaker:And I had to go get her say, listen,
Speaker:you can never do that again because you get in trouble.
Speaker:But she went up, she spoke, and then the father of the girl came, came
Speaker:and she said she talked to the father.
Speaker:And the father was so upset because he thought his daughter was perfect
Speaker:when he found out that she was bullying kids in school,
Speaker:not just my daughter, she was bullying a lot of kids in school.
Speaker:He was totally upset.
Speaker:And so he she got in a lot of trouble and he fixed it.
Speaker:Kudos to that girl's
Speaker:father for doing that, because a lot of parents
Speaker:seem to when you say, hey, your kid is bullying mine,
Speaker:well then get defensive because their kid was perfect, as you, you know.
Speaker:And of course, their kid didn't do that.
Speaker:And your kid is just being hypersensitive or something along those lines.
Speaker:The fact that he took responsibility and disciplined
Speaker:his child is a big thing and that deserves recognition.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:And you know why he did it, though?
Speaker:I think the same thing happened to him.
Speaker:He got bullied and it didn't For him to think that
Speaker:his daughter was a bully, I think it really bothered him.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:I mean, that's the only person on this call without children.
Speaker:If I did have children and I found out that my child bullied
Speaker:somebody, I would be very upset because,
Speaker:you know, you never really like
Speaker:when you are bullied as a child, no matter what it does to you,
Speaker:how you get past it or what it does to you, it still remains with you.
Speaker:It's still part of the building blocks that make you.
Speaker:And it's one of the more unpleasant.
Speaker:It's building blocks that are in your make up.
Speaker:So very much
Speaker:you wouldn't want your child to be doing that.
Speaker:That would be problematic for you as a formerly bullied child.
Speaker:Again, kudos to this gentleman.
Speaker:Yeah, he he he was awesome.
Speaker:And it's stop it stopped. It stopped.
Speaker:But I do want to engage you more because in this circumstance with your daughter,
Speaker:your primary relationship with your daughter is one, a father.
Speaker:And that's a little bit different than a kid who comes in
Speaker:who has issues that you now are trying to address
Speaker:because it's not also addressing the child is addressing the parent.
Speaker:When you see a child who is
Speaker:clearly being bullied or comes up to you and tells you that they're being bullied,
Speaker:how do you address that when it's not your own child?
Speaker:Well, why is that?
Speaker:You got to you got to help build self-confidence,
Speaker:you know, And I think through martial arts, if you get it,
Speaker:get a child that comes into a studio, most of them are very shy.
Speaker:Most of them are very timid.
Speaker:So the goal is to be able to get them to do something that they didn't never
Speaker:they never thought they could do.
Speaker:And all of a sudden they see deal and all see,
Speaker:I told you what happens when you do that and they get all you right
Speaker:and all of a sudden you start to see that you started to see them rise up.
Speaker:And when you start to see them rise up, you still keep feeding them stuff
Speaker:that's going to help build their self-confidence.
Speaker:And when you start to help build
Speaker:a child's self-confidence, doesn't matter if it's a boy or girl,
Speaker:all of a sudden you start to see them grow.
Speaker:And that's not that's just not kids, right?
Speaker:We talk about adults, too. We talk about people.
Speaker:This this, this up in the age they still get bully.
Speaker:Right.
Speaker:And so my thing is, again, you give them a chance to see success
Speaker:when you give a child a chance to see
Speaker:physical, mental success,
Speaker:their confidence starts to get big and it can be something easy.
Speaker:It could be like there's two jumping jacks,
Speaker:it can be something like squats, it can be something simple and easy.
Speaker:But it was hard to them.
Speaker:But it's to us it was like, Oh, that's pretty easy to do.
Speaker:But for them it might be a milestone, right?
Speaker:But they do it and they go, Wow, I don't think I could do that.
Speaker:Then what happens if we do more?
Speaker:And then all of a sudden they start to see more things happen.
Speaker:When you start giving them a chance to see life grow from from what they doing,
Speaker:then it changes their confidence, it changes their attitude.
Speaker:It makes them feel like they can overcome obstacles.
Speaker:And, you know, when you as a martial arts teacher, Tim, I know you do this,
Speaker:these kind of things too.
Speaker:You give students a chance to take charge.
Speaker:They've all I'm teaching five, five of the kids that then
Speaker:all of a sudden they start to see confidence building.
Speaker:You know. So is it instructive?
Speaker:Do you get to define things that make the child tick
Speaker:and then you go after it and then you
Speaker:somehow it makes them stronger and build and build their confidence?
Speaker:One thing I've noticed as an instructor with building confidence,
Speaker:it doesn't happen with the first one or two classes.
Speaker:And I've had students where the parents would tell me,
Speaker:Well, they don't want to do it anymore,
Speaker:and the parents agree with that child and they just give up.
Speaker:And I'm at a loss for words.
Speaker:I'm like, Well, you told me you want your child to build confidence.
Speaker:And of course, I, I want to do it, You know, big classes.
Speaker:He's kind of scared or she's kind of scared, whoever.
Speaker:But the parents buy into it.
Speaker:What could I say to those parents
Speaker:to keep their kid, to keep coming to class?
Speaker:Because it's not a quick fix for some kids, right?
Speaker:There's never a quick fix, right?
Speaker:Any kid I think any kid is massively shy and not shy of being bullied
Speaker:or not being bully.
Speaker:I think martial arts is that is that is that especially now for the kids
Speaker:these days is tough
Speaker:because they have to physically, mentally work hard to be good at it.
Speaker:You know, good martial arts is not an easy thing.
Speaker:So I think you have to finally find a way to talk to them.
Speaker:Like I have a boy right now.
Speaker:He's 14 years old, young man, 40 years old.
Speaker:He gets bullied all the time in school.
Speaker:He's the second done in block.
Speaker:His second down black belt.
Speaker:And I tell him all the time, I say, listen, you need to come in the studio
Speaker:and give it your best.
Speaker:Or you can come in and steal and give it your worst.
Speaker:But just remember who has the power to do both sides.
Speaker:You do it because you have the power to do both sides.
Speaker:Then you can make a decision.
Speaker:If you want to quit, you quit
Speaker:like the one kid, the one you heard me talking to that day.
Speaker:I told you No, I. So you think I said, hold you?
Speaker:I'm 60 some years old. They got out.
Speaker:You think I want to play with?
Speaker:You know, I got time to play with you.
Speaker:If you don't want to take martial arts
Speaker:in and tell you that if you don't want to bring it back,
Speaker:you don't have to bring it back because I ain't got time to teach
Speaker:the people who don't.
Speaker:I have to be honest and to be truthful to a job,
Speaker:I said, and I tell the parents, if you allow a child to direct their
Speaker:tell you, let you let them direct you in, how they going to run their life,
Speaker:then you got you better worry because it's
Speaker:you don't want to do things and you you allow them to quit.
Speaker:Then it's up to you.
Speaker:And I said the word that you should quit teaching your child.
Speaker:This is I really believe this word the most.
Speaker:You wish you could teach a kid is try,
Speaker:try. Okay, we're fine.
Speaker:Don't do this. We go try some notes.
Speaker:Don't do this. We go try them. No, that's a film.
Speaker:That's the way to film.
Speaker:I mean, I learn how to take try of my life 40 years ago.
Speaker:I don't try to do it.
Speaker:I do in.
Speaker:The goal is to teach kids that do not try because Try has no power.
Speaker:I want to circle back a little bit here, Billy, you made a very good point.
Speaker:If you let your child start dictating their life, they have a problem.
Speaker:That's what her percent True.
Speaker:Because I feel like we had this new age parents
Speaker:where as parents were the father or mother or whatever.
Speaker:Everybody's busy.
Speaker:The kid doesn't want to do something.
Speaker:Whatever. It's easy to give up on something.
Speaker:How much responsibility is it for the parent
Speaker:to see that child
Speaker:continue on with their first goal that they said they were going to
Speaker:start with and then two weeks later they now say they want to quit?
Speaker:I could be mistaken, but I think what you're asking is in this day
Speaker:of helicopter parents, where everything is built towards
Speaker:of the want of the child,
Speaker:how do you cope with dealing with parents
Speaker:who, at the first sign of discomfort of their children,
Speaker:allow them to just quit or move on,
Speaker:that the child is dictating the pace of
Speaker:the upbringing?
Speaker:See it again.
Speaker:I'd say that I think the most important thing
Speaker:to give the child is an athlete, a non athlete, just life.
Speaker:And generally when you say, Let's try to do this, then you give them a leeway out.
Speaker:When you say, let's try.
Speaker:If it doesn't work, we'll go do something else that don't work.
Speaker:We go do something else is always that, you know, I can see it all the time.
Speaker:Did it to kids.
Speaker:Okay, we to try to do this. Okay.
Speaker:We will try to do it.
Speaker:Say, hey, I told my parents honestly, I said, listen,
Speaker:that boy is only five years old.
Speaker:He's telling you what he wants to do.
Speaker:You allow him to do that right now.
Speaker:And if you allow him to do that, then you're going to allow him to be able to
Speaker:dictate whatever he wants to do with him, with his life.
Speaker:Right now, martial arts is what martial uses of discipline for a child.
Speaker:If you can get your son or daughter to come to this
Speaker:martial arts class and do it once a week, I don't care if they come once a
Speaker:we don't have to come twice a week,
Speaker:but just once a week in the midst of them come in once a week.
Speaker:That's going to teach them a whole lot about themselves
Speaker:and they going to learn the discipline factor
Speaker:and then it becomes instinctive, even though they don't want to be there.
Speaker:When something becomes instinctive,
Speaker:they have it inside of them, when they need it
Speaker:and they need to pull it out, it will come out.
Speaker:But if you say, okay, no, look, you don't like it,
Speaker:okay, let's go do something else, then you teach me how to fail.
Speaker:You teach me how to quit.
Speaker:You teach me how to give up.
Speaker:I don't want my daughter to give up in my room.
Speaker:Another fight for what she needs to fight for.
Speaker:And sometimes, you know, every child don't.
Speaker:They don't want to go to a martial arts studio
Speaker:because it's hard work, it's discipline and it's hard work and it's something
Speaker:they don't feel like they can get good gains out of it all the time.
Speaker:And then, too, if you if a child gets a black male
Speaker:at a young age, then what is the black belt in an older age, as it were?
Speaker:You teach them that.
Speaker:Yeah you can you junior black girl.
Speaker:All this done prepared you for your later years.
Speaker:It's like going to school.
Speaker:You go to first grade from kindergarten to fifth grade to sixth grade.
Speaker:Then you go to middle school.
Speaker:Once you get in middle school, that's a whole different attitude.
Speaker:And once you get out of middle school
Speaker:and go to high school, that's a whole different attitude.
Speaker:And then you go to college if you want to, and that's a whole different attitude.
Speaker:Well, that's the way martial arts is.
Speaker:You got to go through all these different stages
Speaker:so you can learn a lot about yourself as a martial artist.
Speaker:And then I see, you know what it is too.
Speaker:It's like, could you imagine if I take a child
Speaker:your age and take it and put your both beside each other?
Speaker:You do martial arts and martial art.
Speaker:I tell a parent,
Speaker:just this child's going, Mosharraf, this just child's not doing martial arts.
Speaker:This child, what is martial arts? Discipline.
Speaker:So this child started to understand the discipline factor of life at a young age.
Speaker:I said, Then it becomes that person becomes like a superhero.
Speaker:If you put a kid next to him, that child becomes a superhero.
Speaker:So when they can see that, you know, it's like Clark Kent,
Speaker:you know, he'll never is you never see him as Superman until something bad happens.
Speaker:Well, that's the same day, same way should happen to a child.
Speaker:I say, look, you've got so much knowledge and wisdom and understanding that even
Speaker:in doing your homework, that homework could be your opponent right.
Speaker:And it makes you want to quit and give up.
Speaker:But if you put on a martial arts attitude, a display attitude
Speaker:is going to make you overpower homework and end up becoming a champion
Speaker:and winning over your homework, winning over everything that happens to you.
Speaker:So don't try to make it look look like what they like,
Speaker:which are if you give martial arts, gives chance, you do whatever you like.
Speaker:I can make martial arts geared toward that
Speaker:martial should be geared toward whatever, whatever you like.
Speaker:Then you teach them.
Speaker:And I teach kids that.
Speaker:I teach kids that way.
Speaker:To Billy, if you were to give advice
Speaker:to a younger you,
Speaker:what would that be?
Speaker:Well, one thing that I would like to say this to kids,
Speaker:I say, what is the most powerful thing in the world?
Speaker:I always ask that question, What is the most powerful thing in the world?
Speaker:What would you say
Speaker:if somebody asked you that question at a young age or
Speaker:even at the age that you are now?
Speaker:What is the most powerful thing in the world?
Speaker:What would you say.
Speaker:A young age?
Speaker:I would say like back in my day, He-Man.
Speaker:Imagine that's the most powerful thing in the world.
Speaker:Okay. That's what I was.
Speaker:What would you say
Speaker:back then?
Speaker:If I'm going to be honest, I don't know what I would have said back then,
Speaker:but right now I would say the most powerful thing in my world
Speaker:and what shapes the world for me is my perception
Speaker:of myself in the world.
Speaker:Oh, you want to you want to.
Speaker:My thought today was powerful in the world.
Speaker:It's all right.
Speaker:The most powerful thing in the world to me.
Speaker:Well, it's two parts, you know.
Speaker:It's would be my faith in God. Mm hmm.
Speaker:Because I've been bullied to a point I said back to my old
Speaker:and my old recording a few weeks ago on one of the podcasts.
Speaker:They didn't get too far due to it, but I thought about committing suicide.
Speaker:That's boy so much.
Speaker:I just wild dream vision.
Speaker:And it was basically God showing me what's going to happen if I if I stay alive.
Speaker:So that's what kept me alive.
Speaker:So ever since then, yeah, you know, that's the most powerful thing for me.
Speaker:This is
Speaker:what I say to kids as it was the most powerful thing in the world.
Speaker:And I ask that question because I know what they say, what they think,
Speaker:And then you ask them this question, you say, I'll go with you.
Speaker:Your parents say, Mom, what's the most powerful tool you have?
Speaker:And they ask that question
Speaker:I asked to ask the parents sometimes do, what's the most powerful tool you have?
Speaker:So I tell the kids, Most powerful thing in the world to me is words,
Speaker:words, thoughts ideas and suggestions.
Speaker:Do what?
Speaker:I don't care how old you are, you can be three years old and be 70 years old.
Speaker:Thoughts, ideas, suggestions.
Speaker:Do what they pop up in your head.
Speaker:What you do with those thoughts and ideas is just as is
Speaker:what's going to make your life either go up or backwards.
Speaker:Think about it you got you can do you have you have this.
Speaker:I always tell people say this.
Speaker:They say there's not a lot. I,
Speaker:I, I.
Speaker:Together today. I said, say I.
Speaker:One, two, three. I look.
Speaker:Look, look and act
Speaker:and and.
Speaker:Act just like my mind and will.
Speaker:Just like. My mind and will.
Speaker:That's a powerful statement.
Speaker:I look and act just like my mind and will.
Speaker:So I say kids say it out loud.
Speaker:I look and act just like my mind and will now say this out loud. I,
Speaker:I look,
Speaker:look and act. And.
Speaker:And just like my body.
Speaker:Just just like my body.
Speaker:That's how most people are.
Speaker:That's why they give up. They look in the mirror.
Speaker:They look like what they see. They look at a scale.
Speaker:They look like what they see.
Speaker:They get they get depressed.
Speaker:They look like what they see and feel.
Speaker:So always still gives. That's what happens.
Speaker:You get up in the morning,
Speaker:you look like wood, how you feel, You look like what you see in the mirror.
Speaker:But you have a mind, you have a will in with that mind
Speaker:and will you can do with it.
Speaker:You can either quit or you can give up.
Speaker:That's how much power you have.
Speaker:You have the power to quit and you have the power to get gone.
Speaker:Which one are you going to use?
Speaker:You can use it any way you have them.
Speaker:Even if you're five year old child, you can your mother can tell you
Speaker:get a body that year, you can woo yourself thinking about a gym, a sit here.
Speaker:That's how much power you have.
Speaker:Now, can you imagine if you took that power and you turned it around?
Speaker:We think your life would go and think about what comes out of your mouth.
Speaker:Death and life is in the power of the tongue.
Speaker:I always tell people say this death in life is in the power of the tongue.
Speaker:Those who love it will get the fruit of it.
Speaker:And why does are you why do I use the word fruit? Why?
Speaker:Why does God use that word?
Speaker:Fungi used that term that in life?
Speaker:Is that a power of you?
Speaker:Don't, Billy, if you love it, you get the fruit of both of them.
Speaker:So I always tell people,
Speaker:take lights out and use the word that is in the power of the tongue.
Speaker:When I see my mouth going to come to life, I'll I'm giving anybody
Speaker:say whatever they say in a mouth is going to come to life.
Speaker:I get up every day and I go like this. I don't feel good.
Speaker:That's too hard for me.
Speaker:And I do it every day.
Speaker:What am I doing? What happens when you water plant?
Speaker:It grows. It drowns.
Speaker:If you water too much, what happens to it? A drowns?
Speaker:What happens?
Speaker:Your plan when you don't want to dies?
Speaker:What happens to your life when you when you get up every day
Speaker:and you water it with bad words,
Speaker:you drown it.
Speaker:Because every day I get up and watering with this.
Speaker:That's too hard.
Speaker:You're reinforcing the negative aspects.
Speaker:And people don't understand that.
Speaker:Kids don't understand that every day they get up, Mom, that's too hard for me.
Speaker:I never do that, Mom. That.
Speaker:Oh, you know, son, you right. That is too hard for you.
Speaker:This go child is.
Speaker:So then they keep saying that kind of stuff to them to do to themselves.
Speaker:But when when a child, when you can set a child down
Speaker:and say this, hey, hey, I look and act like my mind will, you know, part of
Speaker:that is you look and act like you're mine and will.
Speaker:That means I can will myself to do anything.
Speaker:I can will myself quit?
Speaker:I go with myself to go on with that.
Speaker:What else can I do in my life?
Speaker:If I truly wanted to, I can will myself and listen to hardier kids.
Speaker:I will myself and listen to bad kids.
Speaker:And what do you think will happen to my life?
Speaker:It's going to happen like what they say.
Speaker:And I always tell your child, say, listen, mamas, when you have a puppy
Speaker:and you take it around a dog,
Speaker:your puppy don't have fleas, but that other dog have fleas.
Speaker:What happens when you take it around them fleas jump off on them.
Speaker:What do you think happen into your life?
Speaker:Same thing happens.
Speaker:You can either
Speaker:will yourself to be what you want to be or you can kill yourself not to be,
Speaker:or you can always be what other people want you to be.
Speaker:Imagine walking in other people's lives
Speaker:and somebody tell you how you should live your life
Speaker:and how you could you could do that yourself.
Speaker:I just think that when you give kids information,
Speaker:you give them strength and power.
Speaker:They can build off of it. Yeah, I love that speech.
Speaker:For one, I hear kids say all the time in my classes too.
Speaker:And when you tell them that, hey, when you say your your mind is going
Speaker:to believe it, they're like, No, I'm like, Dude, yes, it is.
Speaker:You cannot say that.
Speaker:Or if you say you can't do that, just add the word.
Speaker:Yet behind it changes a whole state.
Speaker:Right right away.
Speaker:And what happens when you hear a song?
Speaker:When a kids hear a song, what do they do?
Speaker:They map it off that low and then look at you.
Speaker:You sing a song you probably don't even realize you sing it
Speaker:because you heard it so much.
Speaker:You sing and stuff like this
Speaker:that if this, that, this,
Speaker:that they stay here and things like that and they sing to them
Speaker:and then they reacting off of what they see and what they hear, it happens.
Speaker:Oh yeah, repetition will burn things into your brain, be it the stuff you say
Speaker:about yourself, the music you hear, the opinions you carry.
Speaker:As you said, if you say about yourself, I'm not worthy.
Speaker:You say that a couple times.
Speaker:That is what your brain is going to believe.
Speaker:You are programing yourself to believe you're not worthy
Speaker:and you can program yourself to basically believe
Speaker:whatever you want to believe about yourself by saying it to yourself.
Speaker:And it's a very important point.
Speaker:And then look what happens.
Speaker:And then confirmation comes to what you already think in your friend
Speaker:go, you know what you write,
Speaker:you, you write, you can't do that.
Speaker:That's confirmation already.
Speaker:What happens is when they get confirmation, they.
Speaker:Believe my thank you again for coming on our program.
Speaker:If people wanted to follow you, where can they do that?
Speaker:Oh, they can go to tribal nation icon and they can get me there right away.
Speaker:You know that tell you, tell you where I am in the world.
Speaker:I'll tell you what I'm doing from one day to the next.
Speaker:So go to tribal nation dot com or go to
Speaker:Billy Blanks Instagram
Speaker:you know Billy official.
Speaker:And I see every now and then you host some online table workouts too right on Zoom.
Speaker:You know they can go on Zoom or they can go on the YouTube
Speaker:channel and subscribe to the channel and they can get me there.
Speaker:24 seven. Again, thank you.
Speaker:Thank you so much, Billy. Thank you, guys.
Speaker:That is awesome. Thank you. I mean, I think kids are going to love it.
Speaker:Something that we all need, you know?
Speaker:And as for us, you can find us either at our website
Speaker:W WW dot breaking bullying dot com or you can email us with any questions
Speaker:concern or your own story about bullying at brick
Speaker:bullying here at gmail.com.
Speaker:And if you are being bullied, if you are having issues
Speaker:or if you know somebody who is being bullied,
Speaker:there are online resources to help, the first of which
Speaker:is the government's own anti-bullying website.
Speaker:And that website is w WW dot stop bullying dot gov.
Speaker:Another good resource is w WW dot pacer
Speaker:dot com backslash bullying.
Speaker:And if you're having feelings of self-harm and dark thoughts,
Speaker:please reach out to the National Suicide hotline at 988.
Speaker:I'm Tim Flynn for Bruce Knox and thank you for listening and join us
Speaker:next week as we continue this conversation to break the silence on bullying.
