Sign up to get updates from us
This week Tim and Bruce talk about calling out a business for bullying on the internet before we are joined by our guest for this week: Sandi Griffin of Sandi Griffin Fitness who shares her story of workplace hassassment and the price of her saying no to the wrong organization.
Along with her fitness duties, Sandi is the founder of the Colorado Springs Health and Fitness Expo which will be held on Saturday, June 24th, 2023, from 10 am -6 pm.
Website for more information on the expo can be found at: https://www.cosfitnessexpo.com/
Address for the event:
Colorado Springs Event Center, 3600 Palmer Park BLVD. Colorado Springs, CO 80909
Our very own Tim Flynn will be in attendance at the expo running several Anti-Bullying Seminars. Come on out and say Hi!
You can learn more about Sandi and her training services at: https://sandigriffin.com/
If you want to learn more or are subjected to either Bullying or Harassment, you can go to:
If you feel that you'd like to make your story known, email us at karatechopbullying@gmail.com
If you are dealing with dark or suicidal thoughts call The National Suicide Hotline:
Phone: 988
Opening Theme: "The Beginning and the End" by Grahf
Closing Theme: "Cute Melodies 11" by Soundtrack 4 Life
Hello and welcome to Karate Chop Bullying
Speaker:where we're here to break the silence.
Speaker:Today on the show, we have personal fitness expert Sandy Griffin, who's
Speaker:going to tell us about her experiences with workplace bullying.
Speaker:But before that, we're going to have a little discussion of our own about
Speaker:whether it is a good idea to just call a business
Speaker:out online.
Speaker:Thank you for joining us.
Speaker:I'm Bruce Jackson.
Speaker:And joining me now is, of course, my compatriot, Tim Flynn.
Speaker:Tim, how are you doing today?
Speaker:It's another day. I'm doing just fine.
Speaker:How about yourself?
Speaker:Well, it's another day for me, too.
Speaker:And tomorrow there'll be another one. Yes.
Speaker:However, didn't you have a little experience in the last other day?
Speaker:That was yesterday.
Speaker:I don't know if it was like another experience,
Speaker:but I'm a part of a few of these anti-bullying groups on the Facebook.
Speaker:On the Facebook.
Speaker:And Facebook, where you're on Facebook.
Speaker:On Facebook.
Speaker:And there's just one group
Speaker:that has a little bit more chatter because they are bigger.
Speaker:And I totally get this post and this person made this anonymous post.
Speaker:This person wants to make a Facebook group
Speaker:page to bash in other business
Speaker:because that person knows they treat your staff very poorly.
Speaker:So what do they want to do?
Speaker:Just to be clear, they want to put up a hate group for this
Speaker:business across the street and just talk smack about them.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:So this anti-bullying Facebook group wants to make their own bullying Facebook
Speaker:group to bash a business that they know are treating their employees poorly.
Speaker:Okay.
Speaker:I guess my first question would be, how do they know this?
Speaker:That's a great question that they do not go into the details of it.
Speaker:So the comment that I made to that post was be careful.
Speaker:Slander is punishable.
Speaker:After I post the comment, one person comes up, well,
Speaker:so is bullying and abuse at work. P.S.
Speaker:Not if it's true.
Speaker:And then someone comes to this person's aid.
Speaker:I guess my comment is not slander if it's facts
Speaker:and then it keeps going on.
Speaker:At the end of this thread,
Speaker:I'm like, you know, get a lawyer involved.
Speaker:They understand the law.
Speaker:Let them deal with this.
Speaker:If this business is bullying their staff, we don't want that business to win.
Speaker:So if we go and start naming this business on Facebook
Speaker:saying, hey, they treat their employees poorly, they're harassing them.
Speaker:We're making all these comments.
Speaker:That business still has a right to defend themselves.
Speaker:And I think it is the law. Prove it.
Speaker:You're innocent until proven guilty.
Speaker:We cannot be the judge and a jury and shame
Speaker:a business that we may not know both sides of it.
Speaker:The perks of working with kids.
Speaker:I get to hear stories like this from kids points of view as well.
Speaker:I had this one kid.
Speaker:This boy was picking on him,
Speaker:and this kid lost it because this student was sick of being bullied.
Speaker:So let's do it.
Speaker:Punches this bully in the shoulder.
Speaker:While there was a time
Speaker:when the teacher happened to look over and catch the punch on their shoulder.
Speaker:So my student had to apologize to her bully and say sorry.
Speaker:Even though she lost her cool because she just can't take it anymore.
Speaker:In that case, the bully won.
Speaker:So when we take things into our own hands, they're not correct way.
Speaker:It may make us feel good at that time, but it's not going to solve the issue.
Speaker:In fact, if I were to go slander another business,
Speaker:that business can come back after me and then I get in trouble.
Speaker:Well, yeah, and that's the thing about this.
Speaker:It's one thing to say, okay, I'm being bullied.
Speaker:It's another thing for you to go to a business and accused it of something.
Speaker:And it's not slander if it's facts.
Speaker:That's true, but it's not slander.
Speaker:If you can prove the facts and that's the important distinction,
Speaker:you have to have evidence to present, not just they bully their people.
Speaker:You need to have more than that.
Speaker:If you open up a Facebook page, this is something that can be argued
Speaker:as slander, as damaging to the business and you would then be financially
Speaker:and legally responsible for the damages to that business.
Speaker:Whether it's true or not.
Speaker:If you do not have rock solid proof to present.
Speaker:And not all video is proof of what's going on
Speaker:as well, Video can be taken as two different ways.
Speaker:However, that person interprets that video.
Speaker:Also, what happened before the video started?
Speaker:What happened after the video was cut?
Speaker:Exactly. Yeah.
Speaker:You know, I've worked in entertainment.
Speaker:We can reedit things to make anything look like anything.
Speaker:So you have to be careful in accusations.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:And I understand at the time, because there were, you know, I've been bullied.
Speaker:We've all been bullied. I have.
Speaker:I say we all, Bruce and I, when you get picked on, you do want.
Speaker:Listen, last week.
Speaker:You listened to last week,
Speaker:but you want to make that person, as my daughter calls it, humbled.
Speaker:You want to humble them and you know, it might make you feel good,
Speaker:but in the long run, going this route,
Speaker:it may make you feel good today or tomorrow.
Speaker:But next week, when you get a summons at your door,
Speaker:you're not going to be feeling so good because now
Speaker:you're going to be dealing with the law.
Speaker:And I suggest not to do that.
Speaker:One of my mentors gave me a good advice.
Speaker:When you're frustrated at somebody.
Speaker:Very simple advice.
Speaker:Type it up and delete it.
Speaker:I've done that so many times.
Speaker:It's simple and it does work.
Speaker:You type it up in an email, get it all out, sit
Speaker:there, read it, think about it, and then delete it.
Speaker:I've done that many times.
Speaker:I get frustrated at people and it works.
Speaker:It calms you down.
Speaker:It gets it all your system.
Speaker:I do this too.
Speaker:Whenever I get angry or irritated or see red in some kind of interaction.
Speaker:I will do a first pass of absolutely vomit out all of my anger
Speaker:and frustration at this person to an email that I then get rid of.
Speaker:And then I set forward my clear, concise,
Speaker:unemotional thoughts about the situation
Speaker:and then send that off so that they can't get into an argument with me.
Speaker:They can disagree with the points, they're not arguing with me.
Speaker:They can't disregard me for just screaming and yelling at them.
Speaker:And it does calm you down because you've gotten the poison out to some degree.
Speaker:Correct?
Speaker:I get it.
Speaker:You see something or it happened to you.
Speaker:Let's go social media and let's just bash them.
Speaker:But is that making us any better than the person
Speaker:that is potentially trained, our staff bad?
Speaker:No, No, it's not.
Speaker:Why stoop down to their level?
Speaker:Why can't we just rise up and be better than them?
Speaker:There is no good outcome when people react
Speaker:violently or they go off on a rant on social media.
Speaker:Nothing good comes of it.
Speaker:I mean, just dragging any argument into social media doesn't help anything.
Speaker:Yeah, let it go if it's happening to you directly.
Speaker:That's why we have lawyers.
Speaker:Let's so deal with it.
Speaker:If you really want to get back at that business, putting their business
Speaker:name on a Facebook page about them and bashing them is not the way to do it.
Speaker:If you really wanted to do something that was real,
Speaker:you would gather this information and you'd submit it to some kind of labor
Speaker:board, correct? Yeah.
Speaker:That's the right way of handling that situation.
Speaker:Here's a problem of social media, which I hate,
Speaker:because when you write a post like this, you're all fired up, you're mad,
Speaker:and if you disagree with it,
Speaker:saying like myself, I said, be careful, slanders punishable.
Speaker:You get like two legs, but then you get someone responding.
Speaker:Do it.
Speaker:When good men do nothing, evil triumphs.
Speaker:I'm like, Yeah, you say that because your butt's down the line.
Speaker:I mean, the reality is just getting involved in any kinds of arguments online.
Speaker:You're just feeding your own anger.
Speaker:It doesn't help you one, it doesn't resolve anything.
Speaker:There's no none of the great debates are happening on a Facebook post.
Speaker:Correct.
Speaker:And no one's coming to any kind of mutual agreement.
Speaker:It's not an actual discussion, just people effectively pissing at each other.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:And ultimately, what that means is if you engage in that, you're frustrated,
Speaker:maybe you're fed your anger, Maybe maybe you made yourself
Speaker:a little happy because you got in that like killer quip or whatnot.
Speaker:But in the end, you're just covered in piss.
Speaker:You are being a bully back.
Speaker:You're doing it on purpose, right?
Speaker:You're planning this out and you're trying to take power over that business.
Speaker:The three top things that you need for it to be considered bullying.
Speaker:Now you're in this anti-bullying group trying to be against bullying, but yet.
Speaker:Your tactics are bullying.
Speaker:Yeah, that doesn't make any sense to me.
Speaker:Well, in fairness, people who have suffered through bullying
Speaker:oftentimes didn't have any kind of recourse in their situation.
Speaker:So it can be very validating
Speaker:to see somebody getting some degree of justice,
Speaker:even when it's not real justice, and it can create a bit of a mob mentality.
Speaker:I could see that being one of the dynamics at play here.
Speaker:I get it
Speaker:and I get that when you're you're hurt, your feelings are hurt.
Speaker:You want to pay back right now.
Speaker:Why do you have to go on Facebook and ask permission?
Speaker:So I'm forgetting about this post and forgetting about this person.
Speaker:Let's take a moment in this business.
Speaker:Let's say somebody there is a business and somebody is getting bullied there.
Speaker:What would be your first piece of advice to this person to start
Speaker:dealing with this situation now?
Speaker:Is this person witnessing this.
Speaker:Management is treating this person like crap?
Speaker:And I witnessed that. Correct.
Speaker:You work at Widgets Inc.
Speaker:and they are doing everything to treat you like absolute crap.
Speaker:What are steps you can take?
Speaker:You're not the witness, you're the victim.
Speaker:I would
Speaker:definitely be Googling my labor laws or contacting my local workforce agency
Speaker:to see how I can report workplace abuse in.
Speaker:Another thing you should be doing is documenting everything.
Speaker:If you get emails that are implying things that feed into the bullying,
Speaker:you don't just leave them on the company server
Speaker:because they can wipe that at any time.
Speaker:You make sure you're forwarding all those correspondences to yourself.
Speaker:That's another thing you can do to protect yourself.
Speaker:Yes. Collect as much evidence you have as possible.
Speaker:If you if you witness an employer
Speaker:trading in employee bad, it also where hurt as an outsider.
Speaker:Send that employer a little letter
Speaker:and saying hey, I saw this such and such on this day.
Speaker:This was happening.
Speaker:I just thought I would bring it to your attention.
Speaker:The more that you can intercede on behalf of somebody who is being victimized,
Speaker:the less power the victimizer has over that person.
Speaker:You can make a difference.
Speaker:And staying on the topic of workplace bullying.
Speaker:Joining us now is personal fitness expert Sandy Griffin,
Speaker:who has her own experience with bullying in the workplace.
Speaker:Sandy, thank you for joining us.
Speaker:How are you doing today?
Speaker:I'm doing outstanding today.
Speaker:How are you doing?
Speaker:I'm doing awesome.
Speaker:And to start, tell us a little bit about yourself.
Speaker:What do you currently do? How did you get here?
Speaker:Well, I am a professional fitness coach, and my journey
Speaker:started way back when we moved to Germany in 2002.
Speaker:My husband is retired Air Force and the military relocated our family
Speaker:overseas in 2002, and I didn't know much about fitness at that time
Speaker:and let myself go to the point where I was afraid I was going to die.
Speaker:So decided to start on a health
Speaker:and wellness journey, which led me into lots of other things.
Speaker:But I am also a mother of three.
Speaker:I am recently a grandma.
Speaker:As of January, I have a four month old baby granddaughter.
Speaker:No, you're not.
Speaker:You are. Not.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:There's no way you're way too young. I am
Speaker:now. She's absolutely beautiful.
Speaker:Her name is Mavis. She's.
Speaker:She's going to be super strong when she grows up, too, Just like her mama.
Speaker:But my, you know, my fitness journey kind of.
Speaker:Kind of sparked everything that I do now.
Speaker:How did you go from getting into fitness for myself to be like,
Speaker:Hey, I see a career path here?
Speaker:I tell her, But it happened by accident.
Speaker:So I gained a substantial amount of weight when we got there and to the point
Speaker:where I was afraid I was going to die of a heart attack or stroke.
Speaker:And I don't want to leave my kids without a mom.
Speaker:So I started this fitness journey, a skiing accident that actually helped me
Speaker:start that because I had a knee injury that required therapy in the gym.
Speaker:After a few months, I actually started liking being in the gym,
Speaker:which was weird, and discovered that I was getting really strong.
Speaker:I started losing weight as a result and then I had some folks started
Speaker:approaching me, Hey, can you help me too?
Speaker:And I was like, I don't know what I'm doing. So let me
Speaker:take a
Speaker:certification courses to make sure I'm on the right track for myself.
Speaker:And I actually stayed on that for nearly a year.
Speaker:I never intended to do this as a career,
Speaker:and I was happy to be in a mom to my kids and doing some other things.
Speaker:Eventually decided to like, let me see if I can help change everyone else's life.
Speaker:Like fitness has changed mine.
Speaker:It saved my life and it taught me so much about confidence and everything else.
Speaker:I thought, if I can change someone else's life, I would love to do that.
Speaker:How long have you worked that as a trainer overseas?
Speaker:So my career as a trainer started in 2009 and I am still going strong.
Speaker:You started your fitness career in Germany.
Speaker:How long did it take to grow it and how big did you grow it there?
Speaker:So I started in 2009 and I was really intimidated.
Speaker:We were part of the military community near Ramstein
Speaker:in Landstuhl, Germany, and so I worked with a lot of medical professionals.
Speaker:In fact, one of my very first clients was a doctor, which totally freaked me out.
Speaker:I'm like, A doctor is coming to me for help.
Speaker:Like, what are you doing?
Speaker:And of course, she was near the age of 60, had a neck issue,
Speaker:had a shoulder issue, wanted to lose £20, had a lot of chronic pain.
Speaker:And she's like, Can you help me? And I'm like, Oh,
Speaker:I think so.
Speaker:If you'll be patient with me.
Speaker:I knew I was very honest and very transparent.
Speaker:So I soon discovered I knew more than I thought I did.
Speaker:So I began working with our active duty military community, our spouses
Speaker:and civilians that work overseas in the military community.
Speaker:We worked with people that were had failures and and things.
Speaker:And not only was I very strong for a female, so I was able to demonstrate
Speaker:and be an example of the you can do this.
Speaker:If I can do this, anybody can do this.
Speaker:And it soon grew.
Speaker:Within a few years I started because of my clients being medical professionals.
Speaker:My reputation started to grow and I was actually part
Speaker:of a medical professional team that worked with our Special Forces members
Speaker:and our active duty military that were coming in from downrange injured.
Speaker:They put together a comprehensive wellness program for them
Speaker:because they realized it was more than just healing
Speaker:a broken bone, taking out stitches, whatever.
Speaker:There was a lot more to getting somebody whole
Speaker:and strong and well to be able to return to duty.
Speaker:And I was kind of at the tail end of that program.
Speaker:In the midst of all of that, I
Speaker:also discovered the sport of bodybuilding through my fitness journey.
Speaker:So I was the American liaison for APB International
Speaker:and worked with our military community overseas to be able to compete
Speaker:as international athletes with HPV, which is really awesome.
Speaker:I think in 2013, one of the Fort
Speaker:Carson, where I met in Colorado Springs, one of the Fort Carson
Speaker:Club athletes, which stands for World Class Athlete Program,
Speaker:which basically they're Olympic athletes in training and just part of
Speaker:that Army program that facilitates that was escorting a patient to Landstuhl.
Speaker:And we met and she was just flabbergasted that somebody could be that strong,
Speaker:that lean and not be starving themselves.
Speaker:So I became a consultant at that point for the National
Speaker:wrestling team, USA wrestling team, the women's freestyle team.
Speaker:And that's what kind of connected me to Colorado Springs where I am currently.
Speaker:So I have had just a ton of amazing things happen
Speaker:kind of by accident, but just really awesome things.
Speaker:Met some great people.
Speaker:And yet as big and as powerful as you were,
Speaker:you still ended up in a situation where you were effectively bullied.
Speaker:Mm hmm. How did that come about?
Speaker:It was it totally came out of nowhere and completely caught me off guard
Speaker:with my bodybuilding
Speaker:background and all the community that I was plugged into.
Speaker:I helped the entity that I worked for do lots of events,
Speaker:especially bodybuilding events, and had a great relationship with them.
Speaker:Actually, we were great friends.
Speaker:We had a great relationship, did a lot of great things for the community.
Speaker:And in 2013 the government did not pass the budget
Speaker:and there was a period of government shutdown for a few days
Speaker:and there was fear about budget not being passed and everything.
Speaker:And so they canceled this bodybuilding show that we were planning.
Speaker:And I was in the midst of training.
Speaker:41 athletes were in all of our military communities in the area.
Speaker:So there is lots of different bases within Germany.
Speaker:And I was traveling to all these bases doing workshops
Speaker:and training these athletes.
Speaker:Some of these people, we were halfway to the goal,
Speaker:which was a bodybuilding show, and they canceled it.
Speaker:And I thought, Well, let's do it anyway.
Speaker:You know, I'll find a way.
Speaker:And I had some organizations that donated funds for us to be able
Speaker:to buy trophies and buy the little things that we needed to put on the show.
Speaker:We had an amazing event, but just a few months prior
Speaker:to the event
Speaker:happening, word had gotten out that this was going to be a huge community event.
Speaker:It was the biggest bodybuilding show the community had ever seen, ever.
Speaker:And have that independently.
Speaker:Can you write to the entity that canceled the show, approached me
Speaker:and said, Hey, we'd love to help you out, but we just need to charge admission
Speaker:at the door.
Speaker:Well, because I had been donated funds, it was billed as a nonprofit event
Speaker:and I am.
Speaker:My integrity rises above everything.
Speaker:And I had to say, I'm sorry, but no, I had to politely decline.
Speaker:This is a nonprofit event.
Speaker:We can't charge anybody.
Speaker:And that did not sit well with that entity.
Speaker:When you found word that the event might be canceled,
Speaker:how close to the event date was that?
Speaker:It was about two months out.
Speaker:So I have friends who do bodybuilding.
Speaker:That's one thing.
Speaker:All that training and prep,
Speaker:because I believe you guys are about a month away from a water cutting phase.
Speaker:Yeah, Yeah.
Speaker:You can't just stop, right?
Speaker:No, you're absolutely correct.
Speaker:And a lot of these men and women and this was more of a transformation
Speaker:show than it was a bodybuilding show, these were all first time athletes.
Speaker:Some of these athletes had come out of diabetes medication.
Speaker:Some of them had lost 50 plus pounds.
Speaker:Some of them had been told they could never do a certain activity again
Speaker:because of an injury, and they overcame that and beyond.
Speaker:So not only was this a lot of intense work, but it was demoralizing
Speaker:to think that they had worked so hard and then they would have to just quit.
Speaker:And so I'm like, No, we can't do this. We have to keep going.
Speaker:Good job on your part for sticking up for.
Speaker:Yeah, because I think that's that's not fair, especially with all the training
Speaker:and the mental training that goes behind behind bodybuilding.
Speaker:Those carrying out the rough nights.
Speaker:No way. Right.
Speaker:Very happy for you. Stuck up for these people.
Speaker:And the community just needed a morale boost
Speaker:or they just needed something positive in their lives.
Speaker:At that point, there were a lot of people that were worried about their jobs
Speaker:getting laid off as government employees and everything.
Speaker:It was a substantial event I felt just had to take place.
Speaker:And was a roaring success.
Speaker:It was.
Speaker:How did you first become aware of this backlash against you?
Speaker:How did this begin?
Speaker:I don't necessarily remember.
Speaker:I think the first instance was they had
Speaker:I became a sponsored athlete with bodybuilding through a company in Germany,
Speaker:just in the way of they provided me free
Speaker:protein powders or whatever just to basically promote their products.
Speaker:And so I brought the products in and just took pictures with them.
Speaker:And I remember being called into a meeting accusing me
Speaker:of selling the products inside the gym, which was not allowed.
Speaker:And again, integrity, that was something I would never do.
Speaker:I would never put my job at risk.
Speaker:At the time, I didn't know that the gym became my bully.
Speaker:The employees at the gym would become a bully.
Speaker:I would never put them at risk either.
Speaker:I would never do anything
Speaker:that questioned my integrity or my practices as a business owner.
Speaker:And I was kind of shocked. I'm like, What proof do you have?
Speaker:Did somebody see me do something?
Speaker:Because I had never done anything and it was the pictures.
Speaker:That's when the bullying really, really kind of escalated from there.
Speaker:What form did the bullying take there?
Speaker:Yeah, there were a lot.
Speaker:I was
Speaker:accused multiple times of unethical business practices,
Speaker:taking money for payment for personal training
Speaker:without my clients going through and purchasing their sessions,
Speaker:even though I had receipts and my calendar
Speaker:to align every person that I saw,
Speaker:I was repeatedly accused of taking money under the table.
Speaker:They hired other contractors, other trainers to come in
Speaker:and I was harassed by them.
Speaker:I was accused of
Speaker:what's the word, slandering other trainers.
Speaker:Like I was telling everybody that they were worthless.
Speaker:They were no good.
Speaker:They were they didn't know what they were doing.
Speaker:And again, all of this was so dented, like they didn't have a person
Speaker:that they could say that, you know, brought this to their attention.
Speaker:There was no written or any other type of proof.
Speaker:It was all hearsay.
Speaker:And I'm like,
Speaker:if you're going to accuse me, then the person making these claims
Speaker:needs to have them proof know I'm innocent until proven guilty.
Speaker:Right?
Speaker:And it was always I could be accused with no foundation.
Speaker:But even with all the proof I had, that was completely ignored,
Speaker:I watched
Speaker:as other trainers were given perks and special treatment.
Speaker:Previously, all of us had been allowed
Speaker:to stand behind the counter and go upstairs and use the break room.
Speaker:After that started, I was banished to the bathroom.
Speaker:Actually, they made me keep my items and all my
Speaker:my business materials in a locker in the women's bathroom.
Speaker:So I and I had male clients.
Speaker:That was the issue.
Speaker:I didn't just females I train males to.
Speaker:It was almost humiliating.
Speaker:I was banished to the bathroom.
Speaker:I couldn't even have a drawer or a cabinet or anything to keep my belongings, my,
Speaker:my professional things in a place
Speaker:I could greet my clients when they came through the door.
Speaker:I had to go, Excuse me, I have to go to the bathroom.
Speaker:They got my book and so I watched as every other trainer
Speaker:except myself was allowed these privileges.
Speaker:And when I brought it to contracting attention,
Speaker:it was kind of just disregarded.
Speaker:And after a certain point, they kind of made everybody do that, but not really.
Speaker:So it was is disheartening.
Speaker:The other trainers that saw this, did any of them stick up for you?
Speaker:No, no, no.
Speaker:And I it it's not a male female thing, but it just so happened
Speaker:that all of the bullies were male
Speaker:and they had all been friends for over several decades.
Speaker:And then all the trainers that were coming in were also male.
Speaker:So I was a female in a very male dominated space.
Speaker:And of course, I'm I'm only five foot three,
Speaker:so that was another thing, you know, like
Speaker:little tiny me, you know, that was another it was.
Speaker:What right do you have to be in this male dominated place?
Speaker:Exactly.
Speaker:They made it very aware that I did not belong.
Speaker:There.
Speaker:Was the sexism present prior to the event? No,
Speaker:no. Like I said, we all got along great.
Speaker:We're all cutting up together.
Speaker:We would all have our lunches upstairs in the break room together and
Speaker:everybody had a great relationship.
Speaker:I never saw any of those bullying traits
Speaker:until this event took place, and it was because I told them no.
Speaker:And I didn't I didn't understand that it's not okay
Speaker:to tell these people no.
Speaker:So I stood up for myself.
Speaker:So the gym itself, was it connected to the organization that had pulled budget?
Speaker:Yes. This is all a military entity.
Speaker:Okay.
Speaker:And the tricky piece about that was in Germany,
Speaker:there's a thing called the SOFA Regulation Status of Forces Agreements.
Speaker:Regulation.
Speaker:And because I was an American working in an American gym,
Speaker:training American clients, taking only dollar for payment,
Speaker:I still had to register as a German business
Speaker:because they did allow German nationals
Speaker:to be employed in the same manner that I was as a contractor.
Speaker:So I fell under the rules of a German business.
Speaker:However, I was viewed as an American entity,
Speaker:so I had no legal recourse.
Speaker:And I learned this as this bullying continued and I thought legal help,
Speaker:the base would not help me either Air Force or Army side.
Speaker:And I hired a German attorney.
Speaker:It was just a terrible situation.
Speaker:I had no legal recourse then nobody would help me.
Speaker:Sounded like it got really nasty.
Speaker:But yeah, as you were going through the bullying at the time it was happening,
Speaker:what kind of emotional toll did it take on you?
Speaker:It was it was devastating.
Speaker:2013 as an entire year was devastating for our family.
Speaker:My husband was basically forced to retire from the military because of budget cuts.
Speaker:We had a significant death in the family.
Speaker:We had one of our children going through severe depression and hospitalization
Speaker:at the time, and then I am about to lose my job.
Speaker:So I thought and it didn't happen for a few years
Speaker:past that, but I seriously thought I was going to lose my job.
Speaker:And it took everything we had as a family to hold it together that year.
Speaker:Devastating is not even
Speaker:it doesn't even come close to the emotions that we were feeling at the time.
Speaker:But you had your husband, you had your family, though,
Speaker:to support you and back you up.
Speaker:And we're we're super strong unit.
Speaker:So we got through it. We got through it.
Speaker:How did this bullying affect your business?
Speaker:Did you lose any clients?
Speaker:Did your clients stick up for you?
Speaker:So I had there were a few people and some of my clients,
Speaker:like I pride myself on really connecting with my clients to learn their stories,
Speaker:to really connect with them.
Speaker:Otherwise I can't truly help them be healthy.
Speaker:So those clients absolutely 100% were behind me every step of the way.
Speaker:There were a few people who diplomatically remained neutral.
Speaker:They didn't not believe me, but they weren't going to join the fight
Speaker:and help me.
Speaker:But most of my clients were really, really tried to help me fight
Speaker:the abuse that was happening.
Speaker:Did the gym you were working at or the other trainers there
Speaker:try to insert themselves in between your relationship with your clients?
Speaker:Fortunately, no.
Speaker:And I think because I had such a deep relationship
Speaker:with the clients that I trained, they knew that that was a futile effort.
Speaker:What was your mindset every day going into this gym,
Speaker:knowing that you're just going to be crapped on?
Speaker:It was it was hard not going to lie.
Speaker:There were a lot of days
Speaker:where I wanted to punch something, and I've never hit anything in my life.
Speaker:Never that not a person, not a walnut, anything.
Speaker:And there were many days where I contemplated that
Speaker:and there were lots of days where I just I would wake up in the morning,
Speaker:realize that I have to go back there again.
Speaker:And I have to say, this wasn't where I knew that they were going to.
Speaker:They had a meeting scheduled that I had to attend to hear
Speaker:about whatever, and I would just wake up in the morning,
Speaker:realize where I was, who I was, what I had to do, and my stomach just sank.
Speaker:It just almost made me
Speaker:nauseous, physically nauseous to think about having to go back in there.
Speaker:But quitting did cross my mind.
Speaker:But I'm really stubborn, so I just I wasn't going to let it happen.
Speaker:So how long did it go on for?
Speaker:So it started in 2013.
Speaker:It worsened and it kind of kind of hit its peak at 2016.
Speaker:They forced me to I had 22 active clients at the time.
Speaker:They forced me with a two week notice
Speaker:to relocate to a different gym, which was 30 minutes away.
Speaker:So they knew none of my clients could follow me.
Speaker:A lot of my clients worked at the location at the hospital
Speaker:that was attached to the gym that I worked at.
Speaker:They knew that my clients
Speaker:could not follow me, so they knew I would lose my entire client list.
Speaker:And the reason for that was their offices were at that gym and so they wanted me
Speaker:to work directly at that gym where their offices were located.
Speaker:It was twice as far from my home, so the commute was greater.
Speaker:I had no clientele and because of that, they set me up for failure.
Speaker:It was basically a plan to set me up to ensure I would fail to allow them to
Speaker:cancel my contract.
Speaker:So because I would not work there, because I had a commitment to my clients
Speaker:at that gym, I did not go to the other one and they said, You are not performing
Speaker:your duties as specified by your contract and they canceled it.
Speaker:Were you able to take your clients with you and train outside of that gym?
Speaker:I was too.
Speaker:Luckily, because of my reputation and because of the medical professionals
Speaker:I worked for, there was a physical therapy clinic that was off
Speaker:base in the German community that was part of a gym.
Speaker:And I went over there and spoke with them.
Speaker:They were super excited to have me.
Speaker:It was it was so much better, so much better.
Speaker:It was like a whole new world opened up for me.
Speaker:And I would say 85% of my clients followed me
Speaker:and my business flourished after that, actually.
Speaker:Were there any further echoes of the bullying
Speaker:once you had your contract canceled and left the gym or when that happened,
Speaker:that put an end to it.
Speaker:That pretty much put an end to it.
Speaker:I'm sure they continued to drag my name through the mud,
Speaker:but at that point I didn't really care.
Speaker:Did you become less active in base activities
Speaker:after this negative experience began?
Speaker:I did not.
Speaker:In the community, but with that particular entity's activities.
Speaker:Absolutely.
Speaker:I had never and never set foot in any of those again.
Speaker:That's when I really started becoming just prior to that, actually
Speaker:becoming the liaison for the bodybuilding community in the German community.
Speaker:And so I really started introducing our American community to that
Speaker:and really started embracing more of the German community,
Speaker:which was wonderful culturally for me as well.
Speaker:What advice would you give to somebody experiencing this right now?
Speaker:I would say and I didn't I didn't start practicing these things
Speaker:until a quite a quite a ways into the beginning
Speaker:because I didn't quite understand what was happening.
Speaker:I had never been bullied before until I was an adult.
Speaker:I'm the person that always has the glass half full.
Speaker:I obviously the good in people until you prove me wrong
Speaker:and it takes a lot to prove me wrong.
Speaker:I'll still second guess myself sometimes and think that really they didn't mean it
Speaker:that way, you know?
Speaker:So it took me a little bit to realize, Oh, this is for real, this is serious.
Speaker:So practical advice.
Speaker:I would say one of the most important things I did for my legal defense
Speaker:and for my protection as a business, I recorded all my conversations
Speaker:so that I never had to say that it was my word against theirs.
Speaker:I could say, Here's our conversation and somebody can share it for what it was.
Speaker:I made sure that I was never alone.
Speaker:There were lots of times where I was cornered.
Speaker:I had three people in the room and I was the only person in the room on my behalf.
Speaker:So I had three people's word against mine.
Speaker:So I made sure that I always had an advocate,
Speaker:whether that was the media or my husband or one of my clients or a friend
Speaker:or somebody that was a neutral party that could be in the room with me.
Speaker:And we recorded a conversation and I would not have a conversation
Speaker:unless it was allowed to be recorded.
Speaker:And in addition to all of that, I kept a journal of every email, every event,
Speaker:every thing that happened to me, every comment that was made towards me
Speaker:so that I was able to present all of this to my attorney eventually.
Speaker:And unfortunately, again, because of the complications with being an American
Speaker:running a business in Germany, I just really had no legal protection.
Speaker:However, I think most people in this situation
Speaker:would have those legal parameters to protect them,
Speaker:and this could be very significant in their defense, you know, in their case.
Speaker:And then beyond that advice going through this mentally,
Speaker:physically, everything else, I don't believe things happen for a reason.
Speaker:I don't believe that people should ever be abused.
Speaker:I don't believe I was supposed to be abused.
Speaker:However, I do believe that I have choices
Speaker:and I had a choice in that situation to rise above my circumstances
Speaker:and explore the offer Other opportunities that eventually would present themselves,
Speaker:which I have already mentioned, turned out to be hugely successful.
Speaker:And looking back as horrible and as defeated as I felt during that
Speaker:time, I chose to learn and grow from the experience.
Speaker:We can fall victim or we can rise
Speaker:above the ashes and really grow from that.
Speaker:I discovered mental strength and confidence that I didn't know I had.
Speaker:I'm stubborn, but it didn't know that I had the ability
Speaker:to stand up to a huge entity and horrible people.
Speaker:Horrible people.
Speaker:And I didn't realize I had that in me.
Speaker:I am considered myself kind of an introvert.
Speaker:Previous told this experience.
Speaker:I grew up and as a child as a doormat, which is amazing that
Speaker:I wasn't bullied as a child but made sense that I was.
Speaker:I kind of got bullied as an adult, I guess.
Speaker:But I learned a lot about myself and those traits,
Speaker:you know, the confidence and the strength that I learned.
Speaker:Those traits in turn, would help me
Speaker:grow my brand and my business beyond anything I could have ever imagined.
Speaker:So in short, if someone you know in their adult
Speaker:life is being bullied, stay strong, don't lose heart,
Speaker:and look forward to the amazing things that are going to come your way.
Speaker:It sucks to go through this.
Speaker:It totally sucks.
Speaker:But there is usually something at the end of this that you'll learn
Speaker:and you will just flourish from it and be able to pay it forward
Speaker:to someone else to be able to mentor somebody else.
Speaker:Going through this process, I often refer to my story with this as,
Speaker:you know, I have never gone through a miscarriage,
Speaker:but I appreciate the women and have that shared their stories
Speaker:and tried to encourage other women going through the same process.
Speaker:Same thing with bullying.
Speaker:I hope nobody ever get bullied, you know,
Speaker:I hope nobody ever has to experience this, but I'm glad that I went through it
Speaker:in that aspect so that I can be a resource and a person that understands
Speaker:what they're going through and can help them navigate those steps.
Speaker:So let's talk about one of your success coming up
Speaker:shortly, which will also feature our very own Tim.
Speaker:Tell us about your upcoming event in Colorado Springs.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:So as as I went through my journey, I discovered all the amazing things
Speaker:that fitness had done for me in my confidence and my strength,
Speaker:both physically and emotionally, helped me get through the bullying situation.
Speaker:And I really want to share that with every person I can.
Speaker:And I started to discover that training, even though I love one
Speaker:on one personal training with my clients, I really want to reach a broader
Speaker:audience with the education and the resources that our community has.
Speaker:And we've relocated to Colorado Springs in 2018, and that's Olympic City,
Speaker:USA, at the home of, our Olympic training center and Paralympic training center,
Speaker:which is as full of inspiration and success stories.
Speaker:So I thought, let's get all of our resources pool together
Speaker:and share what the amazing community has to offer
Speaker:for somebody that might feel helpless, that might feel defeated.
Speaker:They don't know where to start.
Speaker:They're overwhelmed with information.
Speaker:Let's put it in one place and just give them amazing
Speaker:a fun day of activities and people that really want to serve them.
Speaker:So we are hosting a large scale health and fitness expo,
Speaker:working with the Olympic and Paralympic Training Center here in Colorado
Speaker:Springs, Olympic City, USA and Dick's Sporting Goods and our Giving campaign.
Speaker:All of our admissions collected from the event are benefiting the Pikes Peak
Speaker:Suicide Prevention Partnership, which is a registered 501c nonprofit.
Speaker:We have a huge veteran community here, very high suicide rate
Speaker:because of the PTSD that our warriors and our heroes have endured
Speaker:through their deployments and through their efforts to keep our country free.
Speaker:And so there is a huge need for mental health resources in our community.
Speaker:That's why we chose that campaign.
Speaker:We want to ensure diversity and inclusion in the realm of wellness and fitness
Speaker:for all of our demographics, including our children, our seniors,
Speaker:our persons with special needs and disabilities,
Speaker:and of course, our military and veterans and first responders.
Speaker:So we're really making this a comprehensive event.
Speaker:Our mission is to develop and maintain and help the Colorado Springs community
Speaker:develop and a vibrant lifestyle regardless of their age,
Speaker:no matter if they're just starting out in fitness
Speaker:or they're the elite athlete looking for the next challenge,
Speaker:whether they know a lot about fitness or they're just
Speaker:they don't know the difference between a barbell
Speaker:and a dumbbell like I did when I first started
Speaker:that We're we're just really passionate about providing education,
Speaker:real connections between businesses and our community
Speaker:and really helping to make this.
Speaker:I think we're ranked seventh healthiest state
Speaker:currently, and I'd love to see us get up to number one.
Speaker:How many years have you been running this event?
Speaker:This will be your number three
Speaker:for doing an expo, although this is the first year at this scale.
Speaker:So this is this is a huge event. Wow.
Speaker:And we'll have Olympic athletes, Paralympic athletes there
Speaker:sharing their inspirational stories and all of the obstacles
Speaker:they have overcome to get where they are.
Speaker:We're going to have a 50 foot obstacle course
Speaker:for families to run through and do things together.
Speaker:A bouncy castle off the Ninja Warrior course.
Speaker:We're going to have live bike stunt guys
Speaker:doing the backflips and three sixes landing on the airbag.
Speaker:We're even having a mobile blood drive.
Speaker:So just attending this event, you can save two lives.
Speaker:You can save one because your admission fee
Speaker:is going to go to the Pikes Peak Suicide Prevention.
Speaker:You can save a second life by donating a pint of blood.
Speaker:Bruce, you are missing out.
Speaker:I'm so excited to be a part of that with you guys too.
Speaker:Yeah, and I'm so excited you're going to be there.
Speaker:I'm so excited they're going to be there.
Speaker:Well, since I'm missing out, instead of just having a nice off
Speaker:ramp of Sandy's interviewing sentiment, just put her on the spot out of spite.
Speaker:So you have 30 seconds to give
Speaker:the one fitness tip, the best fitness you can give to anybody.
Speaker:Start small.
Speaker:Everybody wants to conquer Rome in a day, and that's why we fail.
Speaker:We epic fail.
Speaker:Start small if it means getting 8 hours of sleep,
Speaker:if it means drinking water, it can be that small.
Speaker:And think of a compass.
Speaker:If you get up one degree, it doesn't look like much for the first couple of days.
Speaker:But two weeks into your journey, you're going to be like, Where the heck am I?
Speaker:Start small and the small steps will lead to big changes over.
Speaker:Time all of it.
Speaker:Sandy with an I
Speaker:thank you so much for joining us, for sharing your story
Speaker:and for being so open and for doing all that you do.
Speaker:Thank you for bringing all of this to the forefront
Speaker:and really making a change in our in our world.
Speaker:This is not just a a state problem, a community problem.
Speaker:It's a it's a big problem.
Speaker:And I appreciate you guys educating and sharing with everyone.
Speaker:We appreciate having you on the show, sharing your story.
Speaker:I know sometimes talking about this some people think it's a sign of weakness.
Speaker:It's not. It's growth.
Speaker:And you actually learn something through this when you're getting bullied.
Speaker:People at that time think about, wow, this is horrible in my life.
Speaker:But when you think back to it you learn so much about yourself,
Speaker:you can persevere through that.
Speaker:You can pretty much persevere through anything.
Speaker:Sandy, if people want to get a hold of you, how do we do that?
Speaker:You can contact me on my website.
Speaker:Sandy griffin. Sandy with an eye.
Speaker:Griffin with i's dot com or reach out to me at my email address.
Speaker:Dandy Griffin at me dot com.
Speaker:And as to where you can find us
Speaker:you can find us on Facebook at our very own support group
Speaker:which is karate chop bullying support group where not only will you find posts
Speaker:with some information about bullying, but you can share your own story with us.
Speaker:And you can also email your stories at
Speaker:Cry Chat bullying at gmail.com.
Speaker:If you are a victim of bullying,
Speaker:you can find some resources at the government's own bullying website,
Speaker:which is stop bullying dot gov as well as at pacer
Speaker:dot org slash bullying.
Speaker:And if you're contemplating suicide or if you're having bad thoughts,
Speaker:we implore you to reach out to the national Suicide hotline at 988.
Speaker:I'm Bruce next for Tim Flynn.
Speaker:Thank you for listening here.
Speaker:We are going to break the silence on bullying
Speaker:and we're going to continue the conversation next week.
